time has suddenly ceased to exist in my brain. days melted into mere hours while years stretched out into eons. it would be impossible to be in schedule now. sleep has come and gone and come and gone and come and gone elsewhere. music is my only sanity. my impulses and synapses are firing and flowing and pushing me directions i can only find maps to in my dreams. School has ended, and london too has flew through my being…here i am trying to make sense of my backwards direction. loneliness is the only thing that feels right. soon surprises will be seen and soon things will begin to slip into position. is there really a need for me to do anything? YES.
i arrived from london breathless and sans speech. a whirlwind of confusion and reserve and wildness co-existing within the same storm, it is beautiful what a good shot of whiskey will do, let alone three…i’m trying to reign myself in, but some things are better left alone to greater spirits. Morphing like a deep bruise---black purple blue yellow skin---that spot will forever maintain the memory even when the stain has faded.
the family greeted me with such love. conversations and hugs and invitations for dinner and promises of future visits…i loved at instant. their sweetness overwhelms.
soon to figure myself out. soon to find the path i will take. So dangerous a time…please forgive me, but really i’m lacking the language to say what i mean.
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