Heat madness. The temperatures creep high and the air is filled with tensions. So much has occurred within the last few days, week even, that I find myself at a loss of words. Je suis muette. Je n'ai pas les mots a dire mes emotions. There is just so much to look forward to and express...
Mercredi left me feeling alive again. School had stopped feeling so serious or I had stopped finding it so serious. My interview was over. My paper was turned in. Things were out of my control. I was laughing and free and full.
Thursday overwhelmed me with anticipation. I found myself following a new path embracing new and neglected aspects of my ame. My smile less forced and more sly, more sincere. A day of heated exhaustion.
Friday was the fin. Life was really lived. My words became me. Good notes too! Good news! Good conversations! Goodness all around...I walked until my feet were torn and tattered and full of pain. I giggled with my friends. I was embracing my lightness again. The moonlight and the wine turned the river to silver liquid. I found a new sound to bubbling and boiling and cooling metal water waves that soothed my fears and gave me courage and a nice sheen. I read therese raquin. I fell asleep at 5 in the morning.
Saturday, today, or rather yesterday...I slept through breakfast, almost through dejeuner. My skin slick with humid air and nostalgia. Letters and lounging in light shade jardin. No energy to maintain or initiate conversation. Smiles and naps. Advice. Dinner with the dear p'tit et pepite. Time now to sleep.
Lucky necklace released its hold on me to make way for better lucks to come my way. I cannot only wait with..."sweet anticipation"...for the days ahead of me.
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